


5 times the universe tore them apart and one time it didn't

by Spannah339



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 5 + 1, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Season Finale, Spoilers for 7x13, fitzsimmons introspective, it's like 2:30am, please excuse the bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:28:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25878922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spannah339/pseuds/Spannah339
Summary: It’s 2:30am. I am tired. Also running on emotional ded. Anyway Agents if SHILED finale left me an emotional mess so have this please excuse the mistakes it is very late and I must sleep soon.
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	5 times the universe tore them apart and one time it didn't

**Author's Note:**

> It’s 2:30am. I am tired. Also running on emotional ded. Anyway Agents if SHILED finale left me an emotional mess so have this please excuse the mistakes it is very late and I must sleep soon. 

1\. 

He was very still. He had been very still for a long time, and Jemma didn’t know what to do except sit by the bed and watch him. Relive that moment again and again while she waited for him to wake. (Would he ever wake?) 

_“You’re my best friend in the world!”_

_“Yeah. And you’re more than that, Jemma._ ” 

She sat beside the bed he lay in, a book she was pretending to read on her lap. Could things have been different? What would she do if he never woke up again? She had lived so long with him by her side she couldn’t even imagine a world without him. 

“I’m sorry, Fitz,” she whispered, as though he could hear her. (Would he ever hear her again?) In the silence of the medical room she whispered, reaching out to pick up his limp hand, not really sure what she apologised for. 

For the state he was in? 

For Ward’s betrayal? 

For not being able to save him? 

For not knowing how she felt under the confusing storm of worry and anger and grief and whatever else was there? 

She could do nothing but whisper into the quiet air and hold his hand. 

She waited. 

She waited, and when he woke things were different. And she didn’t know how to fix it. 

It drove them apart, but they found their way back to each other. 

They always did, despite the cracks that had begun to appear. 

2\. 

Maveth was cold. 

(The world was cold without Jemma in it, but Fitz was _going_ to find her). 

The nights were long, the days dark and Jemma didn’t know how she was going to survive. 

(They had found their way back to each other before - if he couldn’t figure out the monolith he could _find her_ ). 

She survived, survived even as she screamed to the dark sky, screamed and screamed and screamed. She wanted to go home, to the team, to the Playground, to _Fitz_. (Because Fitz was home, he always had been, at the academy, on the Bus, at the Playground Fitz was home and now he wasn’t here and she was _alone_.) 

(He searched the planet, searched the globe, screamed his frustrations and worked himself raw because he wasn’t himself, not without Jemma by his side. Fitzsimmons. Engineering. Bioctech. _Together_ ). 

She clung to the warmth she found because she didn’t know if she would ever find anything warmer. She clung to the one scrap of comfort, the only other human on a planet of death. She clung to him - but she missed Fitz more. 

(He jumped. He jumped because he couldn’t forgive himself if he didn’t. He jumped because he didn’t care what happened to him, maybe he would get stuck, but at least he would be stuck with _Jemma_.) 

They were different, on the other side. Parts of them were chipping away slowly, cracking, breaking, changing. Fitz held her as she cried, comforted her as she wept. Jemma leaned into Fitz, trusted him, _loved_ him. 

They were different, cracks widening, breaks appearing. They were different. 

But they were _together_. 

3\. 

“His name is Leopold James Fitz, he is a good man and I love him!” 

The sparking eyes of the LMD she had stabbed refused to leave Jemma’s vision, even as more horrors filled her mind. Even as he stared at her, unrecognising, emotionless. Dark. 

“ _Come back to me, Fitz_.” 

She wanted to run to him, to grab him, to drag him _home_. She wanted to knock some sense into him, to free him from whatever prison Aida had trapped him in, to save him before he did something he regretted. 

She failed. 

(Who was that woman? He knew her, and yet - he didn’t. He didn’t care.) 

(Did he?) 

They cracked a little more as he held the gun on her, stared at her with eyes that had once been full of love. They crumbled more as he broke free, mind spinning with two memories, with two personalities, with two loves. 

The crumbled as he cried, as she pulled him close and _forgave him,_ as he broke down and sobbed because he had done something he had regretted and she couldn’t save him from himself. 

The crumbled that little bit more, two souls bound together, breaking together. 

4\. 

He wasn’t here. 

The world was silence and Jemma curled her fists, watched for her chance, waited. He had said he was coming, had said he was working on it. But where was he? 

He would come. 

(“ _I’m coming, Jemma. Just wait._ ”) 

He always did. 

And when he did it was in a whirl of smoke and fire and light and he was here and she held him and kissed him and knew she was never letting go of him again. And for a moment - for one beautiful moment, the world was perfect and they were _together_. 

_“We have a rule.”_

_“We never leave each other’s side anymore.”_

But the world refused to let them hold onto their happy moment for long and Jemma felt the universe combust as news was brought to her. 

As his body arrived in a bag, still and cold and she had _never_ felt more alone before. Not while undercover, not while in the Framework, not even while on Maveth. She felt so _alone_ because he was _gone_ and she began to crumble even more. 

But he was out there - maybe they had lost some time, maybe they had lost each other again. But he was out there and he was _alive_ and now it was her turn to find him. 

(“ _I’m coming Fitz. Just wait.”_ ) 

5\. 

“I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to forget.” 

Sometimes when she slept, she imagined he was here. She imagined she wasn’t constantly wondering, hoping, praying they would meet again. She imagined a world where they didn’t have to stay apart, where they could be _together_ and _happy_ and _safe_. 

And then she woke again, and she forgot and she knew the only way to remember was to complete the mission. 

“Time. Space. It’s never stopped us before.” 

She felt like a part of her was missing when he wasn’t by her side. A part of her had crumbled beyond repair, was broken and would never be fixed. 

“I won’t stop trying.” 

Neither of them had, before. They had kept pushing, kept searching, kept _finding each other_. And she knew. This time. This time she would find him again. 

Because if she didn’t she would shatter into a million pieces and never be whole again. 

“I love you.” 

And one time it didn’t. 

Family. 

That was what they had fought for. 

That was what they had _sacrificed_ for. 

And somehow, despite all they had gone through, despite all the heartache and the pain and the grief and the loss - she knew she would do it all again for this one moment. 

Alya. 

The shining star they had created. 

The life they had built. 

The promise that they would _never_ be separated again. 

Sometimes it felt like a dream, like it could come crashing down around her at any moment. 

Alya. 

Alya Fitzsimmons. 

And Fitz was here. 

And Jemma was _whole_. 

Cursed, she would have once said. Cursed to be forever apart, to be always wandering, always searching for each other. Cursed to never have the happy ending. 

No. 

No, they were blessed. Blessed beyond anything. The cracks were healing, the bruises fading. The pain and separation and constant searching was all for this - was all to make this moment sweeter. 

Their child. Their _family_. Their happy ending. 

And Jemma Simmons wouldn’t trade it for _anything_. 


End file.
